I was so excited to finally full-fill my dream of wearing all the makeup I have always dreamt of. ![]() l was an extremely an innovative and improvising teenager.į ast forward 2004, I relocated to Australia from Zimbabwe. As if the berry juice and shoe polish were not enough, I also crushed charcoal and used it as my eyeliner LOL. ![]() The passion was real and please don't try that at home lol. I even applied some brown shoe polish on my face as foundation, yes, I said it…. I started to experiment with makeup painting my lips with berry juice since I could not afford to buy lipsticks or allowed to wear it by my parents, the berry juice came in very handy. There’s the undeniable truth that there may or may not be someone beside you one day, but your heart and soul will still be there.īeing alone teaches you various things, but the biggest lesson I’ve taken from it is this-someone else could pour their whole soul into you and it still won’t be enough if you’re not already whole, if you’re not already a complete person when they meet you.īecause at the end of it, the right person will add more to your already meaningful life they will not give meaning to it.My makeup passion became stronger and stronger, l was in my early teenage years then. There’s consistency, safety and self-reliance. There is also a feeling of being at home with yourself that you’ll never find anywhere else. There are also moments of disorientation where you don’t know where you’re headed because the person who might be next to you still seems like a blur in the future.īut there is also security, a sense of belonging, and peace. Yes, there are lonely nights, nights when you wish you were speaking to someone with love bubbling in their heart for you. It pushes you to rely on your own views about what’s right or wrong for you and to carve your own path towards dreams that don’t depend on someone else to complete them.īeing alone teaches you to accept what’s meant for you and to push away whatever isn’t, to welcome every fragment of yourself in its entirety and to not pluck out your vulnerabilities as weaknesses but as jewels that make you more love-worthy. It teaches you to ask yourself where you’d like to eat, what color would suit your nails, which park you’d like to run in. It teaches you to have faith in your heart, to trust your emotions, and to be there for yourself when you need it the most. Like how to be resilient, to never bow down to another, to never ‘settle’ just because you’re afraid of loneliness or accept a love that’s not enough because you think that’s all you’re going to get. And how you keep telling everyone that you’re ‘okay being single’ when really, at the back of your mind, you’re wondering whether you’re going to die alone.Īnd how, no matter what anyone else says to reassure you, you don’t know whether there’s anyone out there for you.īut being alone teaches you the most important lessons. And how everyone but you seems to have found who they were looking for, and you can’t chase away the feeling that perhaps there’s something wrong with you. And how there aren’t any ‘good mornings’ or ‘good nights’ waiting for you before you hit bed or get up. Like how to sprinkle your time on people with the potential to give you the love that you deserve before realizing how much of a waste it was. Spending most of your years in the bliss of singleness teaches you a lot of things, both good and bad. Yes, there was the honeyed comfort of family and friends, and yes, the infectious laughter of my loved ones kept me going, but I had never lived life as another person’s ‘half’. ![]() I often took pride in my ability to not need someone to complete me or validate my existence. It wasn’t like I’d just newly become single. I’d been alone for years before that and continued to even after that time. I don’t know whether it was something to do with that day, or the icy water jilting me awake, or the ease with which the weekend had passed me by, but I felt happy and complete. Tiny shrieks left me, and I looked back at my reflection in the mirror. The water was icy on the tips of my fingers and I splashed it over my face. Nothing prepared me for the feeling of contentment that I received after several years of being alone. You can stay alone for as long as you like, but you’ll never truly be comfortable in solitude until you welcome it with open arms.
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